Forcing Change

11:00 AM

It is said that a man will not heal at all... not until he is completely broken.

Upon hearing this line from the movie Grace Card, my life flashed right before me. Right then and there, I fully understood. You see, if you read a lot of my previous personal posts and some from the soul section, you'll notice that most of them were poignant and some of you will see right through -- you can probably tell that I went through something tough these past months.

I may have felt defeated at one point (and I'm sure I'll find myself in a similar situation again someday) but what matters most is that I came out totally fine. The healing process has come full circle.

Indeed, those were the days when it seemed like I failed miserably in every aspect of my life. Feeling down and left alone, I  gave up on my zeal and passion for all things. I lost my direction.

Thankfully I wasn't in limbo for so long. After all the crying, reflecting and praying, the day finally came when I made the conscious decision to continue moving forward. I had to constantly remind myself that if I was able to survive my brother's death seven years ago, then nothing and no one should be able to kill my spirit anymore. It was a great deal of mental effort -- to tell myself I can, to check my progress and my goals, to stay focused, to correct what I've done wrong, and to simply believe.

As I see it, a crisis is God's way of forcing change in our lives. However, our trust and faith in God is never an excuse to be passive. In fact, God helps those who help themselves. Our past struggles (even the ones we continue to experience as of the moment) make us feel painstakingly broken so we would learn to pick up the pieces and one by one, put them all back in place.

Change doesn't just come to pass. You make it happen for you. Evaluate your situation and do what's necessary.

F-STOP black high slit skirt | Thrifted top | Gold Dot shoes | Necklace c/o I am Girlie 

In my case, things finally went my way when I stopped giving a f*ck. By that, I don't mean I stopped caring and became apathetic about the world. Instead, I consumed my time thinking about myself and the things that I should work on, doing my passion projects and strengthening my relationships with a group of carefully selected and trusted people.

The moment I DECIDED to stop comparing my life with other people, to stop wishing I have what belongs to others, to to stop allowing my insecurities get the best of me, to stop wallowing in self pity; everything felt so much lighter. The moment you put an end to all these things, it means you've finally done it. You've let go of the unnecessary excess baggage that you've been carrying in your heart. 

Most of the time, when we commit the biggest mistakes in life, we think it would be the end of our world. It's not. Don't you notice? There's a continuation after every downfall. An ending is not the end until we're gone... for good. 

I'm not here to tell you that I no longer experience hardships in my life. That's just unrealistic. No one lives life everyday without carrying a cross on his back. My life is pretty normal. I have my own fair share of difficulties like you and yet I'm happy. I may have failed amazingly but I bounced back with a refreshed soul, rekindled faith, a new sense of purpose, stronger relationship bonds and bigger dreams ahead.

Healed and fulfilled, indeed. (30)

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Moving on to today's look, what's with the outfit? Well aside from the fact that I recently released a new collection on F-STOP (and this is my subtle way of promoting it), in a very cheesy and literal way (haha), the very high slit represents the change I'm now enforcing in my life. This is me saying that I'm daring enough to face life's biggest hurdles and I've come out bolder and tougher than I've ever been. And speaking of force, halatang pinilit ko lang din ipasok diba, haha.

Ever since I've been chosen as one of Nail It!'s resident bloggers (you guys already know about this right?!), the color purple seemed to grow on me. When I saw this geometric printed top in a thrift store, I fell in love in an instant. It does somehow compliment my skin tone; not to mention, showcases my Nail It! spirit. Before I forget, they have a new branch in Centris Walk along Quezon Avenue in QC. Please drop by! We might bump into each other. Isn't that fun? See you!


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  1. oh I should visit NAIL IT SALON in Centris! let us date soon Melai! Wanna talk to you! hehe :) it has been a year or so since we had coffee remember when we met with Ate maris at SM North? :) I miss that quality time. Take care always Melai!:)

    1. Oo nga eh, ang tagal na nung meet-up natin sa SM North! Sige, let's "Nail It!" one of these days! :) I-schedule na yan! :)

  2. looove your skirt, Melai! must be really nice being a sail salon resident blogger!

    toni perfumed red shoes

    1. Toni!!! Yes it's nice :) I can go everyday if I want to change polish that often. Haha! I love their services and I'm glad that they gave bloggers more credit and value that's why they wanted this collaboration to be continuous and not just a one-time thing.

      They're growing really fast! I hope they open a branch there in Cebu! :)

  3. Inspiring post, Ms. Melai! I love what you said, "I may have failed amazingly but I bounced back with a refreshed soul, rekindled faith, a new sense of purpose, stronger relationship bonds and bigger dreams ahead." Keep the faith! <3

    1. Hi C! Thanks for taking the time to place a comment on this post. :) I hope my little entry inspired you. :) Yes, I'll keep the faith! You too! <3

  4. Melai, I don't know but for some reason I nearly cried reading this post.

    So hard to make decisions and stand up for it. I'm at a point in my life where I want to let go and just leave everything behind and never look back.

    Thank you for this.

    1. Hi Chyrel,
      I don't know what you're going through right now, the same way I've been vague with all these "life problems" that I've experienced. But I know that at the end of the day, we might not know the details but we can relate to the "feeling."

      I'm touched by the fact that this post has made an impact on you. Right now in your life, you're decisions will greatly weigh on what's going to happen in the future. If you're a point in your life when you "want" to let go, then DO IT if you think and feel this is the right thing to do; if this will release you from all the pain and if this will keep you moving forward in the better direction.

      I appreciate your comment so much. It's short but I feel really happy when I get comments like this. This is why I write this way and this is why I'll stick to the way I write.

      Thank you also. Comments like yours mean a lot because they tell me that I'm not writing in vain. There will always be someone out there who will be touched or helped by it. I pray for you dear. :)

      Melai of Style and Soul

  5. amazing look. really sorry for reading this but I think everyone has their own problem. I know when we feel so down, our logic won't work. The best thing that I realize then is I have to be thankful that I'm awake today, and if we compare our life to another. Just for instance many starving kids in Africa, we're lucky enough. You should fight in your life. dont give up and keep posting your great style


I appreciate anything you have to say. Thanks for dropping by. It means so much to me. Love, Melai

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