Style and Soul

Coming from UP, sunflowers mean something to us other than just a flower. When it starts growing along university avenue some time in February, it marks the beginning of the end of college for a lot of students. Once it has fully grown, it symbolizes a new chapter in the life of those fresh grads who are zealous to face the real world.

For me, these sunflowers signify that the best is yet to come. This year, I felt ready taking on new challenges. I've finally ventured into film producing by applying to work with Joe Alandy, a young producer who's slowly making his mark in the local indie film scene. Although I have experienced how it was to produce an event such as Bloggers United bazaar, it is by a mile, nothing compared to (creative) producing a film.

Film producing is far more complicated, more cerebral and more consuming.

Currently, I'm working on (under the producing unit) our Cinema One 2013 entry, Shift by Siege Ledesma. According to our timeline, we'll start principal photography by August, to give enough time for post production and marketing before the festival this November (we've been working since June as you can see).

Just when I thought I knew what I was getting into, reality slaps me on the face – it's a totally different ballgame. This isn't my cup of tea and I was thrown way off my comfort zone. I realized I know nothing (but I've been learning).

Long time no see, soul mates. You haven't heard from me for almost two months now (!). Just when I was all geared up to write a steady stream of updates, I face a hectic work schedule that made it impossible for me to write anything vaguely interesting or meaningful. Thus, I'm consistently confronted with the choice of leaving you with nothing new to read instead of blah-ging my way into your feeds. 

Again and again, I have always told you how much I worry about blog content that I will not bother posting if there is really nothing much to say (I have twitter or my facebook page for that), which might explain the relative silence on the blog. When your life does not revolve around blogging, it's normal to encounter this ever-present stumbling block to consistently posting.

Technically, I think I have already been a non-blogger since late last year. Since the start of 2013, I have not attended any blogger event or accepted any additional blogging projects (except the existing ones) because I've been too focused on my work. Ditching all those have definitely given me all this extra time to do... even more work (haha, I must be crazy)! Styling for television, and a huge celebrity at that, has been very demanding, not to mention the fact that I've been juggling management jobs for a number of film and video projects altogether.

The first day of the year is like an ordinary day to me– special. I've come to learn to see everyday as a significant part of my life. Granted that there are no fireworks or feast every single day, just knowing that I am alive while others breathe their last, is already a blessing. I'm not exactly an optimistic person because I don't keep my hopes up or my expectations too high, rather, I'm realistic enough to appreciate life as it is and whatever it may bring– both good and bad. 

2012 was a year of changing perspectives. I've grown to be a more positive person, in a sense that, there's always something I'm thankful for– no matter how petty it is. This major shift in the way I look at life helped me to stop focusing on the things that I lack and instead, notice the abundance of simple pleasures that I've been blessed with.

The moment I stopped feeling sorry for myself was the time I found myself in high spirits and free of stress. There are a lot of things in this world that I cannot change. And so, I chose to change what I can– myself. Just to make it clear, the last thing I want to do is claim to be good person or someone better than anyone else. I'm not. I'm merely celebrating myself as it is– raw and imperfect but happy and contented.

A huge part of this process has something to do with me, detaching myself from this blog. I haven't updated much this year. Cecile of Chuvaness.com and I share the same dilemma, we've lost our mojo to blog. Although I've been past this phase while she has just started (read her entry here), I understand the need for her to step back and think about what's important for her. I know so because I've been there. 

While I wait in excitement for more awesome experiences 2013 has to offer, let's catch up on a few of the wonderful things I failed to share with you.    

It's funny how people assume so many things once they know you're taking part in styling a celebrity for a television program. Show business has been projected as a glamorous and lucrative industry that most people would immediately think that all the money and fame involved in it automatically trickle down to everyone involved in the production. The answer, no.

I usually get a lot of questions regarding this styling stint and having a blog makes it convenient for me to answer some of it in just one sitting. :)

Lately, I hardly share stories on my recent projects and activities not because nothing much has happened in my life. It's actually the opposite. But since I started tweaking the contents of this blog (which all started with this post), a lot of my entries now are usually a personal thing, my ideas, thoughts, and feelings fused with my personal style and fashion interests. I've minimized my blog entries on how "fabulous" my life is - which events I attend, what items I can afford, what work/project/collaboration I'm currently involved in, where I travel and dine or anything that I personally feel is like "I'm showing off" of some sort (again this is about me okay, haha).

All this came to me during a period in my life where I had enough time to reflect. They say an act of kindness is in its purest form when you don't feel the need to be acknowledged for it. When we post on blogs, facebook, instagram and twitter our photos and updates of us doing good deeds, it doesn't seem that genuine right? This "logic" is something I find applicable in my life. For quite a while now, I've been feeling uncomfortable to "announce" whatever it is that I'm doing because a part of me feels that in doing so, I'm subconsciously or consciously "showing off" to people. Aminin. Most of us won't post anything din naman that we're not at the very least proud of diba.

But it's just me. I self-check all the time. "Am I just blogging this because I want to secretly brag that I'm doing this or am I just genuinely sharing? Is this entry self-serving that I'm just too full of myself?" I try to practice discernment and I try to make sense of why I'm blogging. I know, lately I've been saying, "I'm now blogging for myself." If that's the case, why am I still thinking of what I'd be blogging eh para sa sarili ko naman eh? But then, I'd like to think that blogging for one's self doesn't mean being too self-absorbed and not caring about the content of the entry. Maybe you think, the hell, all this talk is just over thinking!! And yeah I admit, I think too much, exag nga haha!

I'm not taking it to the extremes though. Saying this doesn't mean that I'm totally never ever going to blog vain entries. Like what I said, I'm simply minimizing it. Vanity doesn't necessarily equate to conceit and so, occasionally, expect me to still squeeze in a few stories on "what's new" or "how I've been lately" or "what keeps me busy" posts.

So let's cut all my intrapersonal musings to what this post is really about - a styling stint for Solenn Heussaff.

Being a freelance events host is one of the things I never thought I'd be right now. It would probably be so difficult to believe that I never hosted any significant college event in the past. One of the things I wish I did in college was to try out for a freshman orientation program (one of the biggest gatherings in UP during my time) or any event that my organizations would set up.

Hosting was something I only did for my classes and the reason why it has become one of the many jobs that I juggle is because it started when my relatives and close friends would ask me to do it as a favor and I just couldn't say no; with all of them assuming I'd pull it off since I took up Broadcast Communication.

And you know what? I'm so glad I was once forced to do it because deep inside I really wanted to. My fear of failure in front of an audience and my own personal insecurities just held me back. Thank God someone gave me one hard push and made me see how stupid it was to second guess myself.
A few days ago, as I was checking out which photos to blog about and found pictures of my hosting stints. I thought to myself, how can I blog about these and my work without sounding like either such a show-off or such a one-note blogger - "Today I did this and that..." "Today I hosted an event and it went like this..." "Today I had a shoot for... and it was so awesome..." Boring right? (no offense meant so don't take anything personally) So we will skip all of that.

A lot of people are afraid to put themselves up a platform - whether its a stage, in front of the camera or a social media account. By exposing one's self to an "audience," people are susceptible to humiliation and judgment; two of the things that a lot of them cannot take. The thing is, all people are gifted. Talents vary from hosting, singing, acting, writing, to several other mind-blowing skills. But of all the talented people in the world, a huge portion of them are really scared to put themselves "out there."

It's the same old problem most of us have. A lot of us are either too shy or too insecure. But believe me, you can and will get past that - the way I managed to.

Ever since I decided to make blogging one of my least priorities in life, I turned down a lot of blogger-related opportunities, stopped going to events (focused on what I should be really doing) and started dressing up as comfortable and as casual possible. My uniform these days are loose tops, shorts and wedges - not that special and so, not that worth blogging about, so I thought. 

Thinking that there's nothing much in the outfits that I've been wearing recently, not to mention my boyfriend isn't always there to take photos anymore, I would simply choose to not post at all instead of compromising my standards. If I have nothing much to say, at least my photos better be of good quality and not some blurred or pixelated crap.

A few weeks before turning one year older a month ago, I realized that I don't like throwing a big party - the kind that I used to when I was a kid where a lot of people would come; all my neighbors and classmates, including the ones I'm not really close to.

We almost lost our house.

Two weeks ago, I was at an important meeting with my bosses from SM [Kids Fashion] to evaluate the  series of mall shows (that I hosted) for their Crazy for Colors collection (as mentioned here). There were a couple of production and logistical glitches during the Cebu show and the team would like to address certain issues that arose in relation to the remaining events that we'd be having until the end of the month. 

In the middle of the discussion, I got a text message from my sister saying that there was a fire in our village and that even though our house wasn't on fire [yet], the blaze was huge and would probably catch ours eventually. I didn't really want to bother my bosses about my own personal problems. Good thing, as I was about to tell them, call it divine intervention but the meeting was dismissed earlier than expected. I headed home as fast as I could and upon arriving, I saw that all the roads were blocked by fire trucks and our neighbors were running around while some gathered in a crowd, weeping for their burning homes.

It's the last hurrah of the summer as SM Kids Fashion releases a new collection of vibrant and colorful apparels for children. Tagged as the Crazy for Colors collection, SM Kids Fashion encourages all parents to make their sons and daughters stand out from the crowd through a fun mix-and-match of its latest clothing selection. 

And to further promote the Crazy for Colors summer collection, SM Kids Fashion also launched a theme song and dance music video especially choreographed by renowned dancer/host/mom Ms. Regine Tolentino, a new dance craze that kids will surely love.

Moreover, SM Kids Fashion has an ongoing Crazy for Colors summer caravan happening (some already done) in SM Mall of Asia, SM Fairview, SM Baguio, SM Cebu, SM Southmall, SM Sta. Rosa, SM Pampanga, SM Marilao, SM Dasmarinas, SM Davao and SM Taytay. 

This is the part I'm most excited about... I'm one of those hosting the series of mall shows! 

NO LIMITS. This is the premise of having a blog as a personal platform. However, it is strange that such an outlet that supposedly allows the freedom to express, the liberty to be you can be ironically restraining.

Say hello to my New Year's eve polka number! (dress, thrifted)

R: Square bangle from F-STOP; the rest from bazaars

Necklace gifted by Anagon

Thanks to my sister for saving me from my camera and taking these instagram outfit shots!

Ballet flats | SM Dept Store (Solemate)

First post for 2012. 

Maybe some of you are expecting me to write about something heavy to go with my Christmas entry but not today, haha. I prefer to kick things off on a light note since I just came from a vacation. Nope, I didn't go on a trip somewhere but I went on a break to give myself my much-needed "me" time.

We're now on the fourth day after the year 2012 opened and I'd like to share with you how the past few days have been for me.

2012 Salubong.
My nanay (this is how I address my mom) has asked me to come up with a new year's party that would gather our neighbors in the apartment building where we live in. Nothing grand, really. We had a simple celebration revolving around the concept of bayanihan. Each participating household brought any dish for everyone to share. I prepared bakya parlor games for the kids while some tenants volunteered to provide the prizes. My big brother and I also played Santa by giving aguinaldo to the children in the form of crispy 20 and 50 peso bills. For the adults, I borrowed my friend's videoke microphone so they could entertain themselves by singing along to their favorite songs. The night culminated with all of us welcoming 2012 with sparklers while watching the fireworks display supervised by the men from our building.

For the past 20 years that I've been living here, we've never had a new year's party and I feel accomplished and really glad for being able to put up a get-together that paved the way for the residents to mingle and to get to know the other at the very least. Lavet!

General cleaning.

Not only did I clean my own room, but my boyfriend's desks and shelves too. Both of us want a fresh start and the perfect place to begin is with each of our own personal spaces. A neat and well-organized room has an effect on one's productivity and disposition and so I did a major closet clean up, placed all my shoes in clear plastic boxes, changed the sheets and curtains, filed all my papers, readings and documents, and segregated my accessories, bags, apparels and beauty products accordingly. I also sent all my dirty clothes to the laundry, mopped the floor and removed the dust off the ceilings and corners. All of these took about three rounds of cleaning for two days.

Going home everyday to this room is such a stress reliever. It's been about five days since I've done this and so far I've been doing my best to maintain it (crossing my fingers!).

Business meetings.
Aisa, Ana and I are officially back to work. Bloggers United opened a lot of doors for our team - opportunities we never really thought would come to us out of what-was-thought-of as a small endeavor. I don't want to jinx anything because our team has so much potential of working in a variety of projects and collaborations. I'm just whole-heartedly grateful to everyone (companies, brands, people) who have put their trust and faith in us. I pray for God's best for us, we who have come from the very bottom, just to place ourselves in a cut-throat industry.

Soon this January 2012, the Bloggers United X Multiply charity selling site will be in active operation. Watch out for that. Support us by donating your items. For more information, e-mail me at melanie_entuna@yahoo.com.

Prepping a business comeback.
After a hectic schedule because of Bloggers United, I decided to take a supposedly quick break from handling F-STOP. It's been three months since the hiatus and even though I don't really need to maintain the business anymore due to the projects that I've been receiving, I couldn't let go of it. I loved the business dearly because it was my stepping stone on getting involved with fashion and eventually into blogging. I can't afford to lose it completely because I've been really attached to it. Plus, it doesn't hurt that it gives off extra income right, haha.

The only thing I'm upset about is starting the year with tons of backlogs to blog about. I aim to flush everything out within this week. Hopefully I succeed in that! I haven't had the chance to drop by the blog sites that I usually follow but I know everyone's doing great as well. How about you guys? How's the start of the year for you? Feel free to share! Happy 2012 everyone!