Setting Aside Your Insecurities and Being Your Own No.1 Fan

7:00 PM

Being a freelance events host is one of the things I never thought I'd be right now. It would probably be so difficult to believe that I never hosted any significant college event in the past. One of the things I wish I did in college was to try out for a freshman orientation program (one of the biggest gatherings in UP during my time) or any event that my organizations would set up.

Hosting was something I only did for my classes and the reason why it has become one of the many jobs that I juggle is because it started when my relatives and close friends would ask me to do it as a favor and I just couldn't say no; with all of them assuming I'd pull it off since I took up Broadcast Communication.

And you know what? I'm so glad I was once forced to do it because deep inside I really wanted to. My fear of failure in front of an audience and my own personal insecurities just held me back. Thank God someone gave me one hard push and made me see how stupid it was to second guess myself.

From stage fright to stage might: Style and Soul spotted hosting for SM Kids Fashion events

A few days ago, as I was checking out which photos to blog about and found pictures of my hosting stints. I thought to myself, how can I blog about these and my work without sounding like either such a show-off or such a one-note blogger - "Today I did this and that..." "Today I hosted an event and it went like this..." "Today I had a shoot for... and it was so awesome..." Boring right? (no offense meant so don't take anything personally) So we will skip all of that.

A lot of people are afraid to put themselves up a platform - whether its a stage, in front of the camera or a social media account. By exposing one's self to an "audience," people are susceptible to humiliation and judgment; two of the things that a lot of them cannot take. The thing is, all people are gifted. Talents vary from hosting, singing, acting, writing, to several other mind-blowing skills. But of all the talented people in the world, a huge portion of them are really scared to put themselves "out there."

Turn your life around by ridding of your shyness and insecurities and show the world what you've got. 
Click 'read more' for outfit details and the whole story.

It's the same old problem most of us have. A lot of us are either too shy or too insecure. But believe me, you can and will get past that - the way I managed to.

1. Diagnose your personal cancer.
In a hospital setting, the sooner the doctor identifies what the patient's illness is, the sooner he gets to treating it. The same principle applies to yourself. Start a conversation with the person inside you and ask all the questions that will flush out the answers leading to you to figuring out what your issues are.

I once asked myself, why is it so hard for me to be confident? I thought long, deep and hard. It was a question that needed a truthful answer. The case was, in my head, I kept on comparing myself to all the successful, smart and talented people around me (especially the ones I look up to), keeping count of all the traits in them that I don't have - that I wish I have. That was my problem. I never bothered to even make a checklist of what make me such an awesome person because I was too preoccupied listing others'.

2. Stop making excuses and don't let these stop you. 
People in general feel the need to blame other factors for their failures in order to make them feel better about themselves. Either 1)  you didn't get the job because you didn't study in a top university, 2) you didn't get the role because you aren't pretty enough, or 3) you can't make it in the industry because you don't have influential family and friends.

Just stop.

Although these reasons may be true for certain situations, so what? Don't make them your reasons. I used to think the reason why it was so hard for me to venture into hosting at first was because I wasn't pretty and I didn't have the connections. But those were lame excuses. I tried to get out of that funk and made an effort to dress up, learned the basics of putting on make-up and grabbed opportunities to meet people and tell them what I can do just in case there would come a time that they'd be needing someone like me.

All that I needed to do was find a way and work with what I have and so should you.

Jacket and maxi skirt (rolled up) Thrifted | Top SM Dept. Store | Shoes Adidas

3. Treatment takes time.
When you know what your problem is/are and you're not making excuses for any of it, then you're ready to undergo a treatment. You have to remember though that it's not as easy as sleeping today and waking up confident tomorrow. Take one step at a time, one block after another, in building up your self esteem.


Track your strengths. Accept your limitations. Everybody's good at something and all people have particular interests. Know what you're best at, and keep your focus on what you love to do. Since no one in this world is even close to perfection, whatever your weaknesses are, make it work for you instead of against you.

Start small. Before hosting for brands and corporate events, I started with personal events like birthdays, and weddings for the people I personally know. Way before that, my audience were my classmates, my boyfriend, my family and the people I'm comfortable with. After a while, I got the hang of it until one day, I surprised myself by pulling off a hosting stint for a mall show and a media press conference. Take your time and never rush yourself.


Practice. For instance, you're not confident in your photography work, then identify what's left for you to learn and continue studying. Read, research and try to do the application. Keep on doing what you do - until you get good at it, till you get better at it, until you become the best that you can be.

You know the feeling of composure and complacency when you studied well for your final exams? Gaining the confidence to do the things that you really want to do is similar to that. The more you know and the more skills you develop through experience, the more confident you'll be.

4. Be your own No. 1 fan.
They say that we are our own worst critics. I say, it's time to turn it around and make ourselves our best supporters. I used to be too hard on myself and the more I was, the more I felt so down. When I started to be more forgiving of the things that I cannot change about myself and happily acknowledged who I am - both the good and the bad, it then felt uplifting to take on the goals that I've set for myself.


Appreciate your progress and celebrate your victories - no matter how great or little. Whether it's finishing my first-ever wardrobe styling seminar, a tiring day of film shoot, putting on a successful show look, or blogging an entry that I really feel good about, I would give myself a pat on the back and reward myself with long sleeping hours or splurging on my favorite food.

When you find fulfillment in the smallest things (like accomplishing a to-do list, finishing an essay, giving a pep talk to five people, and so on and so forth) soon, you'll learn to trust and take pride in yourself when you take on bigger and harder projects.


Lastly, keep in mind that it's all a matter of mindset and self trust. Don't let your fear of failure or making a fool out of yourself and most of all your insecurities define who you are and pull you down. The more you let go of this weight, the easier it is for you to soar up high. 

Every day, remind yourself of the your personal list of what makes you such an awesome person and when a point in your life would come where you start to doubt yourself again, give yourself a slap on the cheek. In this process of working on your self confidence, time will come when you'll thank yourself for your life-changing decision to believe in what you are made of.

If I never worked on myself and got rid of all my negative self-talk, I would never have become an events host after all. And oh, one last thing, never mistaken self-trust and self esteem with arrogance and over confidence.

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13 comments

  1. Melaaaai! Your posts inspire me a lot :) Keep up the good work!

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    1. Hi! Thanks for the comment on my post. I really wish you placed your identity or anything that could link me to you. But that's okay. I'm glad in my own little way, I managed to inspire someone like you. :) Thank you so much!

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  2. Very insightful post. This comes at a perfect time for me :)

    http://thebelatedbloomer.blogspot.com

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    1. I feel really happy when I'm going through something and one day, I read something I can totally relate to, something I needed to read that time. :) Of course I'm not sure of the extent how much you need this entry but yeah, thanks :)

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  3. I agree with Anonymous. I love that your posts really go far and beyond, from the usual "look at what I did and what I wore" tones many bloggers use (no offense meant).

    Really looking forward to reading more worthwhile entries like this and hopefully, getting inspired by these words and getting inspired to be a beacon of hope on my own as well. More power! :)

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    1. Hey AJ! Thanks! :) Glad you appreciate this and you find my blog worth reading :)

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  4. i totally love this post, melai. this is exactly what i would have told myself back then when i first started out. to make the long story short, after a lot of hard work and practicing all of these tips, it did pay off for me as i got to practice events hosting extensively. i think i have more to go and learn, and definitely i need to be brushing up on these tips on a regular basis. god speed and i'm glad you're doing well with your hosting!


    xx
    eden
    www.chicinthetropics.com

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  5. It is refreshing to read something like this from a fashion blogger. :) Too bad I missed your event last Saturday. Sorry dear.. :(

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    1. Ruth! Super thanks :) Naku it's okay! Pwede naman next time!

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  6. Ate Melai, this post really inspired me. I'm a 'small-time' host as well and I'm grateful for people like you. :)

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    1. Aaaw this made my day! I'm more inspired to blog with comments like this. Anubeeey! Small-time ka? Ngek as if naman I'm that big-time na! Walang leveling! I know you'll do well as long as you keep on pursuing it! :)

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    2. Thank you Ate Melai for tweeting me! Aah! Super nakaka inspire talaga ikaw. And Im a fan of ur skills. I was at the BU3 and Im not sure if u remembered pero nagpa picture pa ko sayo and applauded u, kasi ang galing mo talaga mag host! Puro sa mga party lang ng friends and mga org activities lang dn ako naghohost.. Haha! Pero keep up the good work and keep on inspiring other people :)

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  7. super sakto naman nito.. thank you, i needed this.. i feel so down and confused lately.. goodluck with your hosting gigs! :)

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I appreciate anything you have to say. Thanks for dropping by. It means so much to me. Love, Melai

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