Screw Ups

1:00 PM

Lately, I hardly share stories on my recent projects and activities not because nothing much has happened in my life. It's actually the opposite. But since I started tweaking the contents of this blog (which all started with this post), a lot of my entries now are usually a personal thing, my ideas, thoughts, and feelings fused with my personal style and fashion interests. I've minimized my blog entries on how "fabulous" my life is - which events I attend, what items I can afford, what work/project/collaboration I'm currently involved in, where I travel and dine or anything that I personally feel is like "I'm showing off" of some sort (again this is about me okay, haha).

Celebrity styling for Solenn Heussaff for a local TV show 

All this came to me during a period in my life where I had enough time to reflect. They say an act of kindness is in its purest form when you don't feel the need to be acknowledged for it. When we post on blogs, facebook, instagram and twitter our photos and updates of us doing good deeds, it doesn't seem that genuine right? This "logic" is something I find applicable in my life. For quite a while now, I've been feeling uncomfortable to "announce" whatever it is that I'm doing because a part of me feels that in doing so, I'm subconsciously or consciously "showing off" to people. Aminin. Most of us won't post anything din naman that we're not at the very least proud of diba.

But it's just me. I self-check all the time. "Am I just blogging this because I want to secretly brag that I'm doing this or am I just genuinely sharing? Is this entry self-serving that I'm just too full of myself?" I try to practice discernment and I try to make sense of why I'm blogging. I know, lately I've been saying, "I'm now blogging for myself." If that's the case, why am I still thinking of what I'd be blogging eh para sa sarili ko naman eh? But then, I'd like to think that blogging for one's self doesn't mean being too self-absorbed and not caring about the content of the entry. Maybe you think, the hell, all this talk is just over thinking!! And yeah I admit, I think too much, exag nga haha!

Celebrity/model/host Solenn Heussaff sitting on Ronac's elaborate spiral stairs

I'm not taking it to the extremes though. Saying this doesn't mean that I'm totally never ever going to blog vain entries. Like what I said, I'm simply minimizing it. Vanity doesn't necessarily equate to conceit and so, occasionally, expect me to still squeeze in a few stories on "what's new" or "how I've been lately" or "what keeps me busy" posts.

So let's cut all my intrapersonal musings to what this post is really about - a styling stint for Solenn Heussaff.

I have two choices on where to direct this blog post. Reading back on my past blog entries, if I were to choose the first option, everything would be about me. I'd tell you all about how awesome this styling stint is. The second choice is to to skip all the parts of "It was awesome doing this and that..." and go directly to all the things I managed to learn and observe through this experience.

Solenn wearing a fab cocktail dress designed by Mara Chua, wedges from Gold Dot and F-STOP accessories

I was about to pick the first option and tell you all the fun things about celebrity styling. But then... I decided that I didn't want to conceal my personal shortcomings and blunders so I thought of writing about how I screwed up my second day at work.

Helluuur everyone! This is Mike. He is camera shy. :)

First things' first. Let me begin by giving all the credit and thanks to Mike. It is his job after all. I'm his associate stylist (not that he really needed one) because I offered myself and instead of taking in one of his other close fasyown friends to join him, he gave me the benefit of the doubt and allowed us to work together. This has been going on for more or less a month now and I could have publicly disclosed this the moment we started taping but then again I didn't because my constant "self-checking" stopped me (Refer to the 3rd paragraph, haha).

During the course of work and time spent together, I've come to know more about Mike through our little chats about our families, past experiences, personal goals and interests. More than being companions, he is someone intelligent that you can really learn from (may mentoring na nagaganap ganyan, haha). Although we never run out random and trivial topics to talk about, each conversation has always been a sensible exchange of point of views, opinions and knowledge on life, then fashion, aesthetics and practical styling tips.

Mike assisting Solenn by helping her put on her Gold Dot wedges.

He's not only open to impart whatever he knows that could be helpful to one's personal growth; he's also very frank -- a trait and a gesture I appreciate very much. He'll tell you what you need to work or improve on and what you did wrong straight to your face but with all good intentions in mind; and everything will be okay after that. I admire the person in him that I've come to discover so far in the process of us being together and it's nice and refreshing to be surprised by people. 

Meanwhile, in our TV styling job, we're not really allowed to "chat" the show's guests. On my second day of taping, I totally forgot about this rule and walked up to a Congressman that Solenn was about to interview while the TV crew was setting up. We talked discreetly but I asked him all sorts of questions that a curious cat like me was interested to know. (It's important to note though that we finished our styling duties first and were currently doing nothing when it occurred.) 

Solenn featuring a local luxury spa with two lucky ladies treated to a relaxing gold facial session! Dress by Jaciendera, necklace c/o I'm Girlie

When they would finally shoot the interview and my talk with Congressman had ended, Mike pulled me aside and reminded me (in a soft whisper) that I broke an important work rule and the TV production certainly took notice of that. I appreciate that he wasn't being a friend during the care-frontation but just someone firm and honest. The second he told me, I immediately snapped out of my memory loss and remembered that indeed, we're not allowed to talk to guests. I could see his disappointment and I just wished I could hit my head with a rock.

As innocent as it seemed to casually converse with a show guest (a politician for that matter), the point is, it's not in accordance to work policies and committing this mistake (at my second day of work) may jeopardize the opportunity given to us. Even if there's any consolation when Congressman's media officer sent me a message to let me know that the lower house representative appreciated talking to me during his waiting time, his compliment didn't matter. The bottom line is I did something I wasn't allowed to do during production work and I was wrong. More than my own well-being, I am most concerned on how my action could reflect on Mike - a person I owe this experience to.

Although I couldn't undo what's been done anymore, I know there's always a way to turn things around. And so, I apologized to him (and when I do, I did mean it) and assured him that it will never happen again (of course no one wants to make the same mistake twice). Now, each time I'm on taping, I see to it that my mind's set to taking extra careful on my every little action (need to over think again, haha) to make sure I don't break any work rule applicable to us.

Other than that, everything else about the styling stint was enjoyable and I'm just truly grateful.(30)

 Solenn can fit into almost anything. She has a rocking fit body! Shorts from Tin Iglesias and Gold Dot pumps.
Solenn glows in a bronze creation by Santi Obcena, accessories all owned by me. 
Can't help but be a little jealous of how lovely this "goddess" is. Solenn in Wardrobe Check dress & I'm Girlie necklace
If you want to buy this lace cropped top, visit F-STOP on August 14 for a new collection and place your order!

How about you? Feel free to share a situation at work or school where you've committed a mistake and tell us how you managed to make up for it.

#StyleandSoulSays: No one's perfect and everyone screws up every once in a while. What matters most is how we handle the repercussions with grace, how we value the lessons we learn, and how inspired it makes us to become the better versions of our current self. :) To us, only better!

Note: All photos are taken by me. Please credit accordingly. Thanks!


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  1. We get it, you made a mistake with something in your life in the past but you don't have to overanalyze things all the time. Constantly checking on yourself and making sure if the things you're sharing on your blog are genuine or not. Its ridiculous!!

    I almost wanted to click on the X button while reading the first 3 paragraphs of this post because what you wrote up there was BLAH. You used to write really well, but when you overanalyze things and put it into writing, its just... annoying to read.

    I'm not here to hate on you or anything. Think of this as constructive criticism. You said "This is about me, okay", pero kung sarili mo lang ang iniisip at tinutukoy mo, bakit kailangan mo pang sabihin later on na "AMININ.. MOST PEOPLE etc etc etc". Or baka ako lang ang naguguluhan sayo? Sa kaka-overanalyze mo, pati reader mo naguguluhan na.

    Yeah we get it, you want to change. You want to be a better person. But just like what you said in this post, kapag pinapangalandakan ang good deed, parang hindi na sincere. Hindi na genuine. So kung gusto mo magbago, just DO it. You don't have to blog about what you should or should NOT be doing. Hindi lahat ng tao pare-pareho.. For example: When someone "announces" or talks about how they've helped other people, YOU think they're BRAGGING. Pero baka hindi mo alam na yun tao na yun only talked about it because he wants to ENCOURAGE other people to do the same and make them know how good it feels to be able to help someone.

    Honestly, I think the reason why you're "minimizing" or "self-checking" constantly is because you're kind of infamous for what happened in BU. Take some time off with this blogging thing because this is what's distracting you from becoming a "genuinely" better person. Everytime you blog, its obvious that you're so self conscious about what other people are gonna think of you. Not about what you really think of yourself. Melai, no one cares if you "show off". You're a fashion blogger, that's a normal thing.

    Don't make things too complicated. You're slowly losing that "spark" in writing because of all this overanalyzing shit.

    You don't have to publish this comment. And again, please don't take this as a "hate" comment. If I hated you, I wouldn't even finish reading your blog post.

    1. Hello anonymous. I know you will be checking back to see if either 1) I published your comment or not and/or 2) I would reply to it (if yes, of course, you'd like to read what I would have to say) or not.

      Sadly, my reply cannot be published because the character limit is 4,096 characters and I wrote more words beyond that number, haha. I decided to reply through a blog entry nalang. :)

  2. Wow! I love this post; definitely learned a lot since I also do want to become a stylist someday. It opened up my mind about what you said on why do we actually blog? Is it really for us or you want to share it to the world. For me maybe both? To keep track of what I'm wearing and yes I want to share your outfits to everyone... to inspire them maybe? :)

    I think you should do more blogs about this... the mistakes you made, since not all bloggers share it but to me it helps us aspiring ones to learn from your experience.

    Thank you for this! :)

    xoxo Raffi! ♥

    1. Hi Raffi! Thanks for your comment! Yeah, I wrote about my "thinking process" just so other people could also ask the same questions to themselves. It's nice to know that through this entry you sort of asked yourself why do you actually blog. In the process of blogging (and growing, and experiencing the world), you'll get to know for yourself the answers as to why you really do it since only you who can say to yourself that.

      Yes, I've been blogging about entries like this and you could read back at my past posts. :) I'm glad that you love it and you feel like you've learned something through some of the entries that I've written.

      Don't thank me, I thank you for taking your time out to read. :) I'm grateful!

  3. You're welcome, Ms. Melai! :) Yes, I believe so that only me can say why do I actually blog. :)
    I still thank you for writing these kinds of blog posts. :) It's worth reading it and plus I learned something from it!

    xoxo Raffi! ♥

  4. You should totally discredit what anonymous said because it's great that you can express yourself in this way so well. Don't make things complicated? You're losing that spark? CLEARLY, this person does not know what he/ she is talking about. A multitude of fashion bloggers show off because that's all they can do. Not to bad-mouth that or anything because ok some people don't really like to reflect and ponder. Likewise, some people just want stare at glossy images. Be jealous and shit of other people "fashyon" on your own time, anonymous. Just tell me how you aren't fed up with that cycle of wanting and feeling bad about what you don't have? This blog is incredibly refreshing. Over thinking and all.

  5. Don't listen to anonymous at all! IT's just jealous that you can express yourself so well and that you're comfortable with it. There are enough shallow blogs out there that show off because that's all they can do. Thank you for being different!


I appreciate anything you have to say. Thanks for dropping by. It means so much to me. Love, Melai

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