Style and Soul

Coming from UP, sunflowers mean something to us other than just a flower. When it starts growing along university avenue some time in February, it marks the beginning of the end of college for a lot of students. Once it has fully grown, it symbolizes a new chapter in the life of those fresh grads who are zealous to face the real world.

For me, these sunflowers signify that the best is yet to come. This year, I felt ready taking on new challenges. I've finally ventured into film producing by applying to work with Joe Alandy, a young producer who's slowly making his mark in the local indie film scene. Although I have experienced how it was to produce an event such as Bloggers United bazaar, it is by a mile, nothing compared to (creative) producing a film.

Film producing is far more complicated, more cerebral and more consuming.

Currently, I'm working on (under the producing unit) our Cinema One 2013 entry, Shift by Siege Ledesma. According to our timeline, we'll start principal photography by August, to give enough time for post production and marketing before the festival this November (we've been working since June as you can see).

Just when I thought I knew what I was getting into, reality slaps me on the face – it's a totally different ballgame. This isn't my cup of tea and I was thrown way off my comfort zone. I realized I know nothing (but I've been learning).

Since my last entry, I haven't logged in my blogger account and when I tried to do so (just a few minutes ago before writing this), dun dun dun dun... I forgot my password! Honestly, I think I sort of panicked right away because thoughts of possibly not being able to access this blog ever again got into my head (exaggerated paranoia right). Then, it took me a couple more attempts before I finally typed in the correct one. Whew! I let out a big sigh of relief and just laughed at myself (call me crazy, haha). If not for the 150+ comments left unapproved and me almost forgetting my password, I wouldn't realize (that much) how so much time passed me by. With how quick things change these days, a few months is indeed a long time.

As usual, life continues to happen. And with everything I've gone through (a lot actually, or should I say, a looooooooooooooot), considering all my personal experiences as a whole, it's been a little difficult (fine maybe I'm a little lazy too) to sort everything out and share it with you in full account. 

So far, it's been clear to me what I want in my life. In full confidence, I can say that I have found myself and I'm on a roll in chasing after all my goals and dreams. In order for me to keep on moving towards the things that I aspire for and pursue my chosen endeavors, I had to let go of everything that held me back. And by that, I mean, everything that burdened me. Life is indeed one hell of a journey and I don't ever want to slow down or let any excess baggage stand in my way. 

Sorting. Separating. Discarding. Keeping. Leaving. I had to undergo all these in the process of simplifying my life so I could create more space for my growth as a person.

Long time no see, soul mates. You haven't heard from me for almost two months now (!). Just when I was all geared up to write a steady stream of updates, I face a hectic work schedule that made it impossible for me to write anything vaguely interesting or meaningful. Thus, I'm consistently confronted with the choice of leaving you with nothing new to read instead of blah-ging my way into your feeds. 

Again and again, I have always told you how much I worry about blog content that I will not bother posting if there is really nothing much to say (I have twitter or my facebook page for that), which might explain the relative silence on the blog. When your life does not revolve around blogging, it's normal to encounter this ever-present stumbling block to consistently posting.

Technically, I think I have already been a non-blogger since late last year. Since the start of 2013, I have not attended any blogger event or accepted any additional blogging projects (except the existing ones) because I've been too focused on my work. Ditching all those have definitely given me all this extra time to do... even more work (haha, I must be crazy)! Styling for television, and a huge celebrity at that, has been very demanding, not to mention the fact that I've been juggling management jobs for a number of film and video projects altogether.

The first day of the year is like an ordinary day to me– special. I've come to learn to see everyday as a significant part of my life. Granted that there are no fireworks or feast every single day, just knowing that I am alive while others breathe their last, is already a blessing. I'm not exactly an optimistic person because I don't keep my hopes up or my expectations too high, rather, I'm realistic enough to appreciate life as it is and whatever it may bring– both good and bad. 

2012 was a year of changing perspectives. I've grown to be a more positive person, in a sense that, there's always something I'm thankful for– no matter how petty it is. This major shift in the way I look at life helped me to stop focusing on the things that I lack and instead, notice the abundance of simple pleasures that I've been blessed with.

The moment I stopped feeling sorry for myself was the time I found myself in high spirits and free of stress. There are a lot of things in this world that I cannot change. And so, I chose to change what I can– myself. Just to make it clear, the last thing I want to do is claim to be good person or someone better than anyone else. I'm not. I'm merely celebrating myself as it is– raw and imperfect but happy and contented.

A huge part of this process has something to do with me, detaching myself from this blog. I haven't updated much this year. Cecile of Chuvaness.com and I share the same dilemma, we've lost our mojo to blog. Although I've been past this phase while she has just started (read her entry here), I understand the need for her to step back and think about what's important for her. I know so because I've been there. 

While I wait in excitement for more awesome experiences 2013 has to offer, let's catch up on a few of the wonderful things I failed to share with you.