New Directions

2:18 PM

Fringed cover-up Thrifted | Tank top, denim shorts, black leggings | Boots F-STOP (Fashion Stop) SHOP ASIAN

Wow. It's been nine months since new year. Time indeed flies. 

At the start of 2011, I have all these dreams and goals that I've listed down for myself. I wish I could share to you what exactly these aspirations are but it feels too personal to tell everyone. Let's just say that... there's this one on the top, that is one of the biggest achievements that I could ever hope for in my life right now.

Sadly, I failed. I find it really unfortunate. I don't know if my failure is because I'm not good enough, I didn't try harder, I had too many reasons, I just simply suck at it or it's not (yet) really meant to be. I'm not sure which one it is. I feel like I know but I really don't know where it went wrong.
Now I question, when will it be me? When is my time, the right time for me to finally make it?

Failing and falling flat on your face can be really heartbreaking. I never thought such a letdown would actually hurt this much. You know that feeling? That despite all of your previous accomplishments, and all the things you've worked so hard for, all those go to waste with just one setback?

Creeper boots from F-STOP | Fashion Stop (SHOP ASIAN)

I know life has its ups and downs and a failure, which is supposedly normal in life, should never keep me down. Feelings of sadness can be dragging but fighting back is the best thing to do.

You know recently, life has led me to new opportunities, a good sign that keeps me moving forward. I've been working as a production manager for a media outfit, organizing Bloggers United, collaborating with FADAL for the upcoming Philippine Fashion Blog Awards and booked a couple of projects here and there. I'm thankful. I really am, and I feel so blessed for all these but every time I think about my "failure," the wound opens up and I can still feel this melancholy.

Everyday, I put on my make-up, dress up, wear a smile on my face and transform into this working girl mode but I'm not going to lie. Every now and then, the sorrow inflicted by this road block creeps up and breaks me down.

Feelings talk. That's all. Anyway, I'm still looking forward to all my upcoming projects. The world is still filled with reasons to smile. 

This post is really sad so I'll make a contrast by showing you the interiors of an old gaming center that I visited a few weeks ago. 

These make me reminisce my childhood - a time in my life when I didn't worry about failing; only about playing. Growing up becomes more and more complicated don't you think?


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  1. i don't want to sound too "ate", seriously bata ka pa, you have so much time. so much to do, to achieve, things to have or not have, places to go, people to see. being young feels like you have so much luck pa. don't think about on things you felt you've failed bec you did not. look at me ( meaning wag moko gayahin, hahaha) i have no nothing i can think of na na- achieve ko career wise, sorry i don't have any career at all. I am so hilo back ten years ago and till now. But that's okay. as long as you're not sad , no regrets, you're just fine.

  2. Melai,

    Our heartbreaks define who we are, not because of what we've been through but because of how we handle it. It's okay to cry. It only makes our joys greater.:)

    So sorry for the senti message. Will never happen again.:))

    -Carmi C.

  3. WOW can't believe that cover up is thrifted, where did you got it? which thrift store do you usually go? :)

    Kaye (

  4. Awww... I know there isn't anything I can say to make things better. Just know that I feel for you! *HUG!

    p.s. I'm jealous of your fringed cover-up! been looking for a fringed something for a while

  5. Melai, I feel you on this and I guess you're right..its normal to feel sadness and sometimes it just drags you down but I'm glad you're trying to fight the feeling. I too feel really bad sometimes but I just cry it out, sleep and pray to God that things that's meant for me finds its way. :) cheer up, love!

  6. awwww.... i don't really have great advise to comment coz i suck with those things but you're still young. there are a lot of greater things to look forward to and achieve. :)


  7. was so inspired after reading this post.
    SMILE. yes you have to.
    indeed, you're so much blessed melai.
    maybe you didn't get what you want.
    because God has better plans for you.
    i see how hardworking you are and you really deserve the best.
    keep posting updates, sharing inspirational stories and keep working w love.
    hope to see you soon melai..
    basta keep smiling and go go lang. you are awesome!

  8. @Everyone: Hello guys! Thanks for the support and warm messages on this emotional post. I do appreciate it sooo much :)

  9. Hi Melai. I love this look. I feel the heaviness of this post. I stress a lot about things that don't work out for me but I eventually learned to let them go. The sooner you do this, the better you'll feel. It'll also open your eyes to better opportunities.


I appreciate anything you have to say. Thanks for dropping by. It means so much to me. Love, Melai

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